Creative Beginner's GAP

Ira Glass was so right......

It is so hard sometimes to be a beginner -especially when you are so NOT a beginner in other versions of yourself, especially when you are embarking on a totally new and foreign skill or material in the visual arts. It can be really hard and discouraging.

As a self-declared Encore and Eclectic Artist however, I have challenged myself to learn new art making things, that get triggered by an inspiring technique I saw, or some art piece that takes my breathe away.

This type of art experience is different than the organic pathway of the Magpie mind.. Here I am referring to intentionally wanting to learn a subject/material/technique-creative something. ART nutrition and education.

A few days ago, I had a complete project flop that caught me off guard, but taught me things. This was not a fun experience, I did not want to film myself at the end glowing with the egg dripping from my forehead.

I opted to write about this nonetheless because I am committed to sharing an authentic Eclectic Artist Journey. It is not easy to “lean in,” be messy, embrace your imperfectly perfect self. It’s frustrating and demotivating at times. BUT here is the thing - Ira Glass knew what he was talking about re: the Creative Gap.

I wanted to learn to make a sculptural lamp. I had purchased the lamp from TARGET- it was white, cheap, and weird. Perfect. I needed to learn about curving and molding foam-- then attaching it to a light fixture. I’ll call it “the PINK LOTUS.” I fantasized.

AND down down down my rabbit hole went my curious mind watching many YouTube videos (an addictive process I love). I am in my full throttle jam watching, learning, comparing videos, even taking notes in my beloved ART LESSONS sketchbook.

I love the foam maker-prop designer YouTube vibe- so different than the fine art types or crafters of YouTube Accessible. Step by step instructions guide me- EASY

I jump in the car, and drive to the local Ben Franklin craft store, snag 3 pieces of thick spongy green and pink foam sheets, and beeline it to the cashier where I proudly recite my membership number to get my 10% discount.

Home, I rummage through my disorganized art supplies in my garage, and voila - find the heat gun -Just the thing to mold and bend my foam .Just like the YouTube tutors had modeled…

-The hands on part begins: I cut the foam into leaf shapes easily, I turn on my super hot “bad ass” heat gun, start melting (sometimes burning) the foam (NOT AS EASY AS VIDEO PROMISED), I carefully flip each shape over as if I am grilling a burger. I then take the now hot foam and wrap my fingers around a dome shape to make my host shape also be curved. It feels oddly satisfying to feel the heat diminish under my fingers. Things are going well. I am deep in the maker flow: the rat a tat tat rhythm of cut, warm, form, glue - repeat, repeat…I can see the end - the Pink Lotus Light!

-After things dry, its time to assemble the pieces together with a glue gun- the larger curved green ones will cradle the smaller pink shapes. Pleased with my almost finished sculpture I shout out and beckon my resident art helper husband for feedback (expecting accolades) and maybe a few tiny notes to improve my “pink lotus” light masterpiece.

My husband shockingly says “It looks like a 10 year old did it. It’s kind of amateur for you.”

My gut sunk.

The sting of his words lingered as I looked down at my pink and green foam creation with new eyes and realized painfully that he was right -the foam material did not look good -it looked fake.

With new resolve however, I double down and tenaciously try to remedy the amateur flower mess. Over the next two or so hours I deftly recut new foam pieces, find new angles and and shapes, smooth out rough patches, experiment with hotter and lower heat levels, look at other art versions of foam sculpture to inspire me - NO LUCK. Pink Lotus Light 2.0 looked even worse.

Despite my craft maker “fix it” doggedness - I had to fully accept the truth that this foam project wasn’t going to work.

Disappointed, mildly pissed off at having spent hours -I walked away feeling defeated with a tinge of embarrassment.

Then, I remembered some great advice from IRA Glass -

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap.”

YES I AM DEEP IN THIS GAP IRA!

For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you.

MY TASTE YES….not up to my skills YET!

A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work.

BUT SAYING “I’M DONE” FEELS so GOOD!

…It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through. “

—Ira Glass

Its so hard being a beginner again in so many new areas. The costs of my encore artist adventure are these really uncomfortable - embarrassing moments.

My skills need to be improved to meet my taste.

I didn’t study sculpture -certainly I have 0 experience with foam -I am impatient and unrealistic sometimes.

BUT I am turning up here - and hoping that this level of honesty can help you too to just keep learning and making and eventually- we’ll be past the GAP.

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